Sanubian Sunshine
by Fairy Armadillo
Summary: A series of Auron/Rikku vignettes. Chapter 2 contains graphic Auron/Rikku intimacy and has been censored for ffn.
1. Chapter 1: Illumination

Sanubian Sunshine: Illumination 

Title: Sanubian Sunshine: Illumination   
Author: Fairy Armadillo (fairyarmadillo@aol.com)   
Pairings: Auron/Rikku   
Ratings: PG - this part, for romantic mushiness. Up to and including NC-17 in future. 

**WARNINGS:**Male/female romance, of the tame sort. Sap, hurt/comfort, and maybe a touch of angst. Spoilers lurk. If you haven't finished the game yet, _why not?!_

Summary: Rikku finds herself lost in the Sanubian Desert. 

Feedback: Feedback is great! Read and review, please. Corrections to my grammar, spelling, and punctuation are welcome. Characterization is important to me, but it's my weakest area. Any comments about the characterization would be wonderful. If you have suggestions for *improving* it, I will *adore* you! 

By the way, if you simply must flame me, be aware that points will be awarded for originality and style, and also proper use of the above mentioned spelling, grammar, and punctuation. 

Author's Notes/Apologia: Okay, here's the first part of my first fic on fanfiction.net. This is a vignette that sets up later vignettes, in which actual cuddling will occur. ^_^ On my own personal crap-o-meter, this one ranges from 'sucks' to 'not so bad'. Please let me know if I got the characters right - or at least close. Oh, and while I have paid attention to the canon of the game, I've also taken some liberties with it. -- Armadillo. 

Al Bhed translations at the end of the section. 

  


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**Sanubian Sunshine, Part 1: Illumination**  


The dry desert wind stole over Rikku's body, plucking at her clothes and hair, driving her to wakefulness. She sat up with a groan, rubbing at her head. "Oh, man. What happened to me?" 

At first the heated air and the barren landscape surrounding her seemed like a dream. The last thing she remembered was being trapped under the Temple at Macalania, ice and blue-white light and the Hymn of the Fayth in her ears. And then... darkness. 

No, not darkness. Sin. 

"But how the heck did I get here?" For this was, undoubtedly, Bikanel Island. Around her lay the Sanubia Desert, trackless and familiar all at once. It gave her a weird little rush of homecoming, lifting her heart. She hadn't realized she'd missed the brutal sun, or the flinty smell of the sand in her nostrils. Rikku giggled. Sin had taken her home. 

But where were the others? 

"Hello?" she called out, climbing to her feet, and then again, louder. "Hello!" 

Nothing answered her but the wind. 

"Oh, well. I'll just have to go and find everybody!" She knew they were all fine. Of course they were. Rikku refused to believe that Sin might not have deposited her companions safely, as it had done for her. She chose a likely direction and set off across the desert. 

After perhaps the better part of an hour, she topped a low rise and stopped to wipe the perspiration from her brow. Gee, it was hot. A headache threatened at the backs of her eyes, and she pulled her goggles on to protect them from the sun. 

Rikku looked out over the horizon. She'd still not quite found her bearings, but this place looked familiar. She was certain she'd traveled in this part of the desert before, but the shifting sand made it hard to identify landmarks. She squinted, looking for ruins or one of the signs her people left to aid them in the desert. 

Way over there to the right was a dark spot. Rikku headed toward it. She slowed her pace when she saw that it was not a sign... then broke into a run as she recognized it as a man, trudging up the slip-face of a dune. Big red coat, dark as heart's blood against the sand. 

"Auron!" Rikku shouted. "Hey!" She waved frantically and dashed to catch up. 

"Auron! I'm so glad to see you! Have you found any of the others?" Her joy at finding him vanished once she could see him clearly. Auron's face was screwed up in a tight grimace, his cheeks wet with tears. Even the damaged one had a track of moisture leading from beneath the scarred lid. 

"Hey. Uh...." Rikku stopped short. He wasn't... crying. Auron didn't cry. "Are you all right?" 

"It's a bit... bright." 

"Oh." Looking closer, Rikku could see Auron's grimace was actually more of a squint. "Yeah, the glare's pretty bad." 

"I take it there's no sign of the others?" Auron began walking again, and Rikku fell into step beside him. 

"Not yet. But I found you, though! So the others are probably around here somewhere. Oh, I just hope Yunie's okay." Rikku hugged her arms close to her body as the worry overtook her. Family was important to the Al Bhed, and she couldn't stand the thought that something bad might happen to her cousin. Yuna had been through so much already. 

"I hope so too," Auron said, and Rikku could hear the sincerity in his voice, though it was as calm and even as ever. 

Right, calm. Rikku took a deep breath and let it out. All she could do for Yuna right now was search for her, and hope for the best. 

Rikku tagged along behind Auron, and together they marched through the desert, searching for their lost friends. And marched. And marched. The sun rose to its zenith, baking them with heat, dazzling them with its brilliance. They passed ruins now and then, the great stone columns crumbling into little more than rocks and gravel. 

Sir Auron moved as tirelessly as an ancient machina, attacking the dunes head on, plowing up one side and then down the other. Rikku struggled to keep up. It was twice as hard walking this way, in a straight line across the dunes. 

Eventually Rikku's thighs had had enough. "Auron, I'm tired! Let's rest a while." 

His response was everything she'd expected. Auron never altered his pace. "We should keep moving." 

Rikku jutted her chin out, frustrated. _He_ might have been made of stone, but she wasn't! "Well, let's at least walk along the base of the dunes." 

"It's faster this way." 

"No, it isn't!" Rikku protested, kicking sand at his ankles. "We're wasting all our energy going up and down, and trudging through this loose stuff, when we could be walking on firm, flat ground right down there. We'd have to walk farther, but it would be a _lot_ easier!" 

Auron didn't say anything at all. 

Rikku fumed silently. He was so stubborn! Like he knew everything there was to know about the desert, when she'd grown up around here. 

In fact... she _had_ grown up around here. The ruins they were currently walking among looked _really_ familiar. Just boulders and rocks, really, but that one there had traces of the same ancient markings she'd seen on her very first machina-scavenging expedition. 

Rikku kept her realization to herself. If the great Sir Auron thought he knew where he was going, who was she to argue? 

Just ahead, Auron's boot caught on a rock and he dropped to his knees. 

"Aha! See, you're tired too," Rikku teased, though she did feel a hint of concern when he didn't get up immediately. 

"It's not that," Auron said. He reached a hand under his glasses and rubbed at his eyes. "I can't see." 

"What?" Rikku scampered up to him, worried now. His one good eye was open, but blood-shot and unfocused. The round Yevonite pupil had shrunk to a pinpoint. 

"You're sun-blind!" That big, stubborn, arrogant... dummy! "Why didn't you say anything? I could have let you borrow my goggles!" 

"It's a bit late for that now," Auron said. 

Oh, she'd been stupid. She should have known from the first that Auron was having problems with the light. That was why his eyes had been tearing. Usually it took longer before the sun blinded a person, so she hadn't been thinking of it. But Auron did wear those dark glasses all the time, even at night. Maybe his eyes were more sensitive to the light. 

Anyway, if she'd been stupid, he'd been worse, not saying anything until he'd gone half-blind. Or was that three-quarters? Rikku waved her hand in front of his face. "You really can't see anything?" 

"Just vague outlines." 

"That's bad. Here, take the goggles." Rikku tore them off - wow, it really was bright out here - and thrust them at him. 

Auron rose slowly to his feet and fended her off. "No. You need them. You have to take the lead." 

"Why do you always have to argue? We need to find some shade." But he was right, and Rikku knew it. One of them needed to be able to see. She thought fast. "Um... um... okay. Why don't you put your hand on my shoulder and let me guide you? Keep your head down and your eyes closed, and that will help with the glare." 

"Very well." With his sword on his right shoulder, Auron shrugged his left arm free from his coat and reached blindly for her. Rikku took his groping hand and placed it on her shoulder. 

She settled her goggles back on her face. "Okay. Ready?" Auron grunted, and they set off. "Here we go." 

Rikku let memory and instinct guide her feet as she led Auron between the dunes. If she was right and this was the site of that first expedition, there would be a small shelter not too far from here. She hoped. 

Beside her, Auron moved confidently, his stride scarcely more hesitant than if he'd had both eyes open and in perfect working order. His hand felt rough against her skin, callused and strong. It was... nice. A big hand, it practically engulfed her shoulder, and made Rikku feel both protective and protected at the same time. She'd lead Auron to the shelter. She'd make sure he was all right. And then she'd smack him a good one for being such a dummy. 

Rikku picked up the pace. 

  


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The sun had shifted to a position low in the sky by the time the campsite with its small tent-like shelter came into view. 

"We made it! We're here!" Rikku crowed, feeling pleased with herself. She only resisted breaking into a run out of deference for the man clinging to her shoulder. 

"Where's 'here'?" Auron asked. 

"It's an old Al Bhed campsite. The sand ate most of it, but the shelter's still standing!" Rikku slipped free of Auron's hand so fast it hung in the air for a moment, as if reaching after her. "Hang on a sec while I check it out. Cool or shady places usually have things living in them out here -- there might be fiends." 

Auron frowned and gripped his katana more tightly. "I'm not going to be much good in a fight." 

"The shelter's too small for anything really nasty. I can handle it!" 

Rikku bounced around the campsite, doing a high-speed reconnoiter. She made sure to disturb every container and hiding place in the area. She evicted a lot of disgruntled lizards, none bigger than her finger, and one snake. She yelped as one of the old crates exploded in a small flurry of the tiny brown desert mice. They hopped away over the sand as fast as their little feet could take them. 

"Rikku?" Auron called, his voice hard and wary. 

"It's nothing!" Rikku called back reassuringly, laughing at her own silliness. "Just a nest of mice!" A quick glance over her shoulder showed Auron relaxing out of his combat stance. 

The shelter now devoid of tiny inhabitants, Rikku dashed back to Auron and pushed him ahead of her, tugging at his coat so he'd duck to enter the low shelter. 

"The best thing for sun-blindness is just to lay back in the shade and not look at anything bright," Rikku said. She guided Auron to a seat in the shadiest part of the small structure, dragging a crate over to serve as a backrest. "Can you open your eye? I'd like to see how you're doing." 

Auron opened his eye, which began to water almost immediately. He blinked repeatedly, his gaze flicking back and forth as if he were trying discern his surroundings, but it was obvious he couldn't see much. 

Auron's eyes were the warmest cinnamon color, Rikku noted. She lost herself contemplating the tiny variations in shade, streaks of copper and russet and bronze adding depth to his gaze. 

"Well, doctor?" Auron asked, with dry humor. 

Rikku started, pulling herself back to reality. "Um, you tell me," she said, as if her mind hadn't wandered. "What can you see?" 

"The same," Auron said. "Outlines and shadows." 

"But it's not worse. That's something, I guess." She stuck a finger in her mouth, gnawed on the tip while she thought. "Somewhere around here I saw a first-aid kit... aha!" 

Rikku spied the box and pounced on it. It contained several small vials, each labeled in Al Bhed. "Yes! These will help." She took up one of the potions and broke the seal. 

"Take your glasses off and tilt your head way back," she advised Auron. "I'm going to put this right in your eye, where it will do the most good." 

Auron removed his glasses, then slouched down until the top of the crate supported his head, his face tilted toward the sky. "How's that?" 

"Perfect! Try not to blink for a second." Rikku landed a couple of drops right on target before Auron blinked his eye closed reflexively. The excess ran down his temple and Rikku swiped at it with a finger. 

"There, all done." Rikku said, satisfied. Auron's eye was starting to look better already, the irritation fading. "If you're comfy, just stay like that and let the potion work." 

"Hm," Auron grunted assent. He shifted slightly, nestling his arm inside his coat, and was still. 

Rikku dusted her hands together and looked around the tiny shelter. There was only an hour or so of light left. She and Auron would have to spend the night here, and look for Yuna and the others in the morning. Maybe she should see about making it more comfortable. 

Near the entrance to the shelter there were a few machina her father's team had left behind. From the vantage point of the top of an ancient water condenser, a small green lizard, braver than its cousins, stared at her with regal authority. 

"_Rammu, deho gehk,_" Rikku breathed, speaking softly so as not to disturb Auron. "_Ryja oui y kevd?_" She lifted the tiny monarch from his throne and deposited him on her shoulder, then settled herself in front of the condenser and inspected it. 

Years in the desert had not been kind to the machina. The domed grey housing was pitted and scratched from wind-blown sand, making the machina look little different from the rocks it had rested among. It was badly dented along one side, with a thin crack in the housing. That was probably why it had been left behind. With so many functional machina still around, sometimes the busted ones weren't worth the effort. 

Rikku lifted the housing cover and sighed. Dust and grit seemed to have gotten into every crevice of the internal machinery. It looked fixable, but it was going to be a pain. 

Rikku brushed and blew away the dust, reconnected wires, and scavenged parts from the other machina nearby. The lizard stayed on her shoulder and watched as if supervising her progress. In her rummaging for parts Rikku discovered a heating element, a squat cylinder the size of a blitzball. She set it aside. If it still worked, they'd be glad of it later, when the chill of the desert night came in earnest. 

At last she slotted a power cell into the machina, closed the housing, and pressed a button. The machina hummed softly, and beads of dew began to form on the condenser plate. They swelled, gathered, and soon a rivulet of water was trickling into the container at the base of the machine. 

Rikku caught a few drops and moistened her lips. She offered a drop to the lizard, who accepted it with a dignified flicker of pink tongue. She offered another, and another, also accepted. Thirst satisfied, the _deho gehk _ then climbed from her shoulder to her head, clinging to strands of her hair like a rider holding the reins of a mount. 

Rikku looked up at her hair-line. "You be good up there, okay?" 

Pulling the heater into her lap, Rikku leaned back against a crate. The light was fading fast; she'd have to work quickly. Across from her, Auron made a small noise that might have been a snore. He was completely limp, his mouth open slightly. The hand that had clutched his glasses lay half-open and relaxed on his thigh, the dark lenses having fallen to rest in his lap. 

Rikku smiled, and it wasn't the same impish grin that normally graced her features. Auron must have been more tired than he'd let on, to fall asleep so quickly. The way in which he lay revealed more of his face than usual, and Rikku indulged herself by taking a long look. 

Asleep, the lines of his face smoothed out almost completely, making Rikku suspect they'd been carved more by pain than age. The streaks of grey frosting his dark hair made him seem older, too. The edge of his eyebrow intrigued her, the contour of bone curving just so before it flowed into the angle of his cheekbone. His down-turned mouth seemed to perpetually frown, but the curve of his lips was surprisingly sensual, full and lush. Beard shadow graced his jaw, accentuating its strength. Rikku knew he shaved every morning, with a small oval mirror and a cut-throat razor that gave her the shivers just to look at. Even so, usually by mid-day the stubble was back, dark as ever. 

It was strange, that he still needed to shave. She could still hear Seymour's voice, eerily smooth: "We Guado are keen to the scent of the Farplane." What did the Farplane smell like? Auron, when she'd been close enough to smell him, smelled like a normal man. Oh, he had his own unique scent, just like Wakka and Tidus did, but it wasn't anything to do with... dead people. 

Rikku shook her head. The ghost of Lord Jyscal had been creepy and frightening, and she'd been filled with dread as she watched the Guado Maester struggle to free himself from the Farplane. Auron... wasn't like that. Auron was too real and alive to be a ghost. 

And yet, he pretty much had to be, didn't he? He hadn't visited the Farplane with the others. And Rikku had been the only one to notice that he'd cried out and fallen to his knees when Jyscal had appeared, as if the stretching boundaries of the Farplane had pained him somehow. 

It didn't matter, Rikku decided. Unsent or not, she liked Auron. Wanted to... well, those were just daydreams. Auron was Auron. He didn't get close to people. In one small way, Rikku was wildly jealous of her cousin. That impenetrable wall of distance was thinner with Yuna than any of the others, and Auron showed her a gentleness that Rikku couldn't help but want for herself. Or at least wish that he would share. All _she'd_ gotten was "Fine." and, "Nice knowing you." 

Rikku bit her lip, remembering how Auron had treated her on the Thunder Plains. Oh, she'd been so mad at him! Mad enough, come to think of it, that she'd walked right out of the Travel Agency to finish giving him a piece of her mind. Rikku wondered if he'd done that deliberately. Probably. The thought made her smile. 

Auron chose that moment to wake. He straightened with a groan, rubbing at his neck. 

"Hi," Rikku greeted him. "How's your eye?" 

"Better." He retrieved his glasses from his lap and started to settle them on his face, then hesitated, blinking at her. "You... have a lizard on your head." 

Rikku grinned. "You noticed!" She scooped their benefactor from her hair and set him at the edge of the shelter. 

"_Drana oui ku, nakym uha,_" she said softly. "_Pa cyva._" 

The lizard inspected the expanse of sand before it gravely, then set out with all the dignity of a ruler of empires. Rikku turned back to Auron, who was watching her with equally grave curiosity. 

"There's water, if you're thirsty." Rikku used a small metal basin to scoop water from the condenser's collection well. "I hope you don't mind that it came from a machina." 

Auron said nothing, but the alacrity with which he accepted the basin made her suspect he wouldn't have minded if the water had come from the snout of a shoopuf. He drank deeply, then cupped his hand in the remaining water and rinsed both eyes, washing away accumulated grit and the salt of tears. 

Rikku noted that he paid special attention to the scarred one, and that he was still squinting a lot, even though dusk was rapidly approaching. "Your eyes still hurt, don't they? Do you think I should put more medicine in them?" 

"I'll do it," Auron said, shaking the clinging drops of water from his fingers. 

"Okay." Rikku shifted the heater off her lap and retrieved the mostly full vial, handing it to him. 

Auron tilted his head back and tipped a bit of the greenish liquid into his left eye, and then he used a thumb to lift his scarred eyelid and applied the potion to his right eye, too. To Rikku's surprise, she glimpsed not an empty socket, but an intact eye. She couldn't tell if it was actually blind, or if the nerves of his eyelid were just too damaged to work, and she didn't ask. In Spira, one didn't ask the maimed about their scars. 

Rikku dug in the first-aid kit and came up with a handful of gauze, passed it to him. Auron used it to dry his eyes and face, then donned his glasses. "Night is falling. We should get going." 

"Oh, no! No, no, no! We can't travel at night!" Rikku shoved the heater aside and sat up on her knees. "It's not safe!" 

Auron tilted his head curiously. "Why not?" 

"The sand worms come out at night! They're _huge_!" Rikku spread her arms to their fullest extent, demonstrating their size. "They're so big they just swallow people right up!" She brought her hands together in a 'chomp' inches from Auron's nose. He didn't move. 

"Surely something of that size can be avoided." Auron climbed to his feet. "Come on. We need to find Yuna." 

There was an urgency in his voice that Rikku recognized. She dropped her arms. "You're really worried about her, huh?" 

"Yuna can take care of herself," Auron said, as if that were an answer. In a way, it was. The only thing Rikku doubted were his motives. She bounced up, grabbing his sleeve to make him turn and face her. 

"Are you worried about Yuna for _her_ sake, or are you worried she might not finish her pilgrimage?" Rikku spat the words. "You know what's going to happen to her! Don't you care about her at all?" 

A lengthy pause, as Auron regarded her silently. 

"I care." 

His hand, when he used it to disengage her from his coat, was gentle. 

Rikku stared after him as he left the shelter. Shaking herself, she grabbed the remaining Al Bhed potions and followed. "All right," she called. "But if we see a sand worm, we run _away_, right? Right?" 

But Auron was already striding into the gathering darkness. 

  


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Al Bhed translations: 

"_Rammu, deho gehk. Ryja oui y kevd?_" -- "Hello, tiny king. Have you a gift?"   
"_Drana oui ku, nakym uha. Pa cyva._" -- "There you go, regal one. Be safe." 

  


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Next Installment -- Part 2, Overcast. 

After the events in the Al Bhed Home, it's Auron's turn to do some comforting -- of a more emotional nature. 

**Due to Fanfiction.net's policy on NC-17 material, this chapter will be heavily censored.**

Find the full chapter at http://armadillo.yaoiville.org/   


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End Part 1 

  



	2. Chapter 2: Overcast

Sanubian Sunshine 2: Overcast 

Title: "Sanubian Sunshine 2: Overcast"   
Pairing: Auron/Rikku   
Author: Fairy Armadillo   
Email: fairyarmadillo@aol.com   
Disclaimer: Not mine. Really. Don't hurt me.   
Rating: R or NC-17 

Summary: After the destruction of Al Bhed Home, Rikku is upset. Auron comforts her. Whee. ^_^ 

**WARNINGS:** Male/female romance, sexual situations. Hurt/comfort, angst, spoilers. 

**Due to fanfiction.net's policy on NC-17 material, this chapter has been censored.**

Author's Notes: Here's the second vignette in my Auron/Rikku series. Sorry for the abrupt end, folks. The full NC-17 version can be read at http://armadillo.yaoiville.org/ 

The armadillo loves feedback. So, please? ::big puppy eyes:: 

  


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Sanubian Sunshine 2: Overcast 

The vibrations of the airship's engines thrummed deep in Auron's bones as he leaned against the bulkhead. It was easier here, away from the others. The well-worn track of his own thoughts was preferable to the atmosphere of anxiety on the bridge. There was nothing to do but wait as they searched for Yuna. Nothing to do but trust that she was safe. Yuna was... so important. So much depended on her -- including Jecht's salvation, and his own. 

The tiny noise pulled Auron from his grim musings, so faint that for a second he was certain he'd imagined it. He raised his head to listen. 

There it was again. A soft, hurt sound, like something in pain. Or someone crying. 

Auron shoved off from the wall and stepped into the main corridor that ran the circumference of the ship. Kimahri stood nearby, arms crossed in his customary guardian's stance. "Kimahri, do you hear anything - unusual?" 

The Ronso cocked his head and listened for a minute or two, then shook his great, maned head. "Kimahri hears nothing." 

"Hn," Auron grunted. He couldn't hear it now, either. Did the unsent hallucinate? Or was he simply losing his mind? "Well, stay alert." 

The Ronso nodded. "Kimahri keep watch." 

Auron returned to his spot near the bridge entrance. After only a few seconds he heard the sound again. "I am not insane," he muttered to himself. He turned his head from side to side, trying to trace the sound. It appeared to be coming from a small grille set mid-way up the wall. 

Auron placed his ear to the grille. The sound was definitely someone crying, and a familiar someone at that. He thought about what he knew of the airship's layout. "Huh." 

Out into the corridor again, a quick nod to Kimahri, and then into the starboard area of the ship. As expected, there was a much larger duct about ten feet past the door which separated the two sections. It was about three and a half feet tall and three feet wide, just large enough that he would be able to move in a crouch rather than a crawl. A smaller person would have fit much more comfortably. A person the size of, say... Rikku. 

The grille blocking the opening was hinged, and swung aside easily. The revealed passage might have been a maintenance accessway, but Auron couldn't tell. Even after ten years in Zanarkand, he wasn't terribly well-versed in machina design. Regardless, it was clean and lit well enough to see, if only dimly. 

Had it occurred to him, Auron might have left well enough alone. Rikku had obviously gone to a lot of effort to seek out solitude. But ten years of caring for Jecht's son had ingrained his response, and sheer habit tugged him forward. 

With a sigh Auron crouched and moved into the small passage. It branched after a few feet, but he could hear the sniffling again, louder now. He allowed it to guide him, following the sound around one turn and down the left arm of a junction. After one last turn the passage widened slightly, and tucked into the corner of the widest part was the figure Auron had been expecting. 

"Rikku," he said quietly. 

The girl jerked her head up from her bent knees, and her face was wet with tears. "Oh... you found me. No one was supposed to find me." 

"I heard you crying." Auron sat next to her, feeling his bones creak as he moved. Unfortunate that being unsent did not preclude one from the aches and pains of mortal life. 

"Yeah," Rikku whispered, and sniffled again, wiping at her cheek with the inside of her wrist. "We -- we tried, but there were so many people we couldn't save. My brother, my friends... almost everyone I ever knew growing up. They're all gone." 

"I am... sorry." Inadequate words, as always. But they were the only ones he had. 

Rikku blinked hard, and another tear tracked its way down her cheek. "My father and the others, they can sing the Hymn, and grieve for a while, and then it's over. I told Tidus I was okay, you know, but..." She sucked in a shuddering breath, close to a sob. 

"Grief has its place... but it's best to move on quickly." Ah, such hypocrisy. Was there anything left of his own existence except grief and the oaths he'd sworn? 

Rikku made him pay. She fixed him with a glare, her green eyes vivid and startling with those spiraled Al Bhed pupils. 

"I know that! Don't you think I know that? I live in Spira too, you know! Sin doesn't care who it takes -- if they're Al Bhed, or Yevonite, or Guado. No one can take the time to grieve, because if they did, there wouldn't be room to do anything else!" 

"Forgive me," Auron said, averting his gaze. He hadn't meant to imply that she was being foolish. He sighed. The realm of comfort always had left him feeling clumsy, at best. He was better suited to the sword. Perhaps he should go. 

"I'm sorry," Rikku said, her softened voice surprising Auron into looking back at her. "I know you mean well. But I... I can't let go this time, you know? It's just too big. I can't get past it." She thumped her head down on her knees and hugged them tightly, squeezing herself into an even smaller ball. 

"...does it ever stop hurting, Auron?" she asked in a thin, plaintive voice. 

"No." Auron kept his tone as gentle as possible, but he couldn't lie to her. She deserved the truth. "I wish I could say that it gets easier with time, but it doesn't." 

"Oh." Her voice was so small it was almost nonexistent. She looked utterly miserable, hunched there in the dim light. After a few moments of silence and stillness she began to tremble. The soft, wounded sounds started anew. 

Auron swallowed, thoughts of leaving now vanished into the air. The vulnerable curve of Rikku's neck filled him with the impulse to protect. His chest ached in sympathetic loss. He knew this moment so well, the realization of inescapable pain. 

Auron wished with sudden, futile intensity, that he could take Rikku's pain away with the wave of his hand. As irritating as she could be at times, she was too bright a soul to suffer like this. She didn't deserve it. 

But then, no one did. 

The best Auron could do was slide his arm around Rikku's hunched shoulders, offering the primitive comfort of touch. His tokkuri got in the way, and Auron unhooked it impatiently and set it off to his left. He took Rikku under his arm then, shifting a bit closer. Rikku's muscles were stiff and tense, but she leaned into him a fraction, letting him know the contact was welcome. It had been a long time since he'd wanted his touch to be welcome, since he'd wanted to comfort another person. Since he'd cared. 

Not strictly true, but close enough. In Zanarkand, Tidus had kept the last of his heart from turning to stone. Here in Spira his heart had revived, taken in others. This group of... children, racing headlong to their fate. Though none could rightfully be called children -- not when they were prepared to sacrifice their lives to bring the Calm. Not even the one underneath his arm, the youngest of them all. 

Braska had always chided him about this, the fact that he loved too easily, and too well. He'd struggled with it his whole life. He'd gradually learned to keep his distance and protect his heart, but the lesson had been hard-won. He'd have thought it branded onto his soul by now. Love meant loss. Love meant pain. 

Braska had warned him of the risks, gently and often, but Auron had been younger then, and unable to help himself. His heart chose, and mind and body could do nothing but follow. And Braska... Braska had seemed to envy his capacity to love, the resilience of a heart that had received wound after wound but never quite broken. It had taken the loss of Braska himself to achieve that. 

Auron looked down as Rikku stirred, the tight ball of her posture relaxing as the storm of emotion subsided. Spent for now, she wiped her face and curled against him for comfort, her right hand falling to his chest. Her fingers absently stroked the thick fabric of his coat. 

"I think my feelings have burnt out," she said softly. "I don't hurt anymore. I'm just numb." 

"It's like that sometimes," Auron said. "Unfortunately, it never lasts." 

No matter how one wished it might. 

They sat together quietly, only the hum of the airship's engines and the hypnotic rhythm of Rikku's fingers on his coat breaking the stillness. Through his arm and side, Auron could feel peace stealing gradually over her small frame, the calm after the storm. 

"This is nice," Rikku sighed sleepily. She snuggled a little deeper into his arm. Auron hesitated. 

"Yes," he agreed at last, giving in to the admission. And it was. Rikku was a warm and pleasant bundle against his side, if a bit bony. Her hand on his coat felt good. Her closeness felt good. She smelled good, too - a bit like the hot sands of her former Home, a bit like some exotic spice, and underlying those was the simple scent of warm, healthy girl. 

Auron closed his eyes and sent a brief prayer toward a source in which he no longer held belief. This was another ache that death had not taken, much to his dismay. He was in trouble. 

Rikku was petting his coat now, and therefore the flesh and bone beneath. Auron gritted his teeth and willed his breathing to stay calm and even. Of the trinity of heart, mind, and body, his body appeared to be leading the way. Completely and utterly without his consent, his right arm drew Rikku closer. His left hand emerged from his coat, encircling her forearm gently. He felt soft skin, and the downy brush of invisible hairs. 

"Mmm," Rikku purred, a throaty little sound. 

Auron swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. He was in a _lot_ of trouble. 

Rikku blinked open her eyes, looked up at him with an expression half-sleepy and half-seductive. Auron gazed back, and watched her pupils dilate, the spirals seeming almost to spin as they expanded into small black pools. 

"Hi," she said very softly, nearly whispering. 

"Hello," Auron replied numbly. More eloquent speech seemed to have escaped him, and likewise the ability to move. 

Rikku tilted her chin up, leaning very close to his face. Her lips parted, then tightened in an annoyed line as she realized his high collar was blocking her goal. Making a little noise of frustration, she tugged the top edge out of the way with one hand and finished leaning in. 

Auron jerked his head away and to the side a fraction of an instant before their lips touched. "Rikku --" 

"Don't tell me I'm too young," Rikku interrupted, dead serious. "Because I'm not." 

Auron shook his head slightly. "No, you're not. But you _are_ upset. Do you even know what it is that you want?" 

"Yes." 

Well, that certainly sounded definite. "And... how much... do you want?" 

"Um..." Rikku's gaze lost some of its certainty. 

Auron felt a wash of relief. If Rikku wished to back off, he would gladly let her do so. His body, with its racing heart and sweating palms, could just go and hang. "Well?" 

Rikku's fingers plucked at the buckles of his collar. A faint blush spread across her cheeks and nose. "I'm pretty sure I want... a lot. Whatever you're willing to give." 

That was not at _all_ what he'd expected. 

"Why." Even to his own ears, the word was monotone. 

Rikku shrugged. "Maybe it's because I'm not a 'dirty Al Bhed' to you. There wasn't a trace of hate in your eyes, when we first met. Maybe it started then. Maybe it's because you called me over to look at the snow bike, at Macalania, so Wakka wouldn't see me cry." 

"I... see." 

"It's not like Tidus and Yunie, you know? But it's still... still real." Rikku looked at him, and her face filled with unhappiness of a different kind. "You really don't want to, do you? Not even a kiss?" 

Auron shook his head. His throat felt surprisingly tight. "I can't, Rikku." 

"Why not?" she asked softly. 

"It will... complicate matters." 

"That's not an answer," Rikku persisted. 

She would insist on making him say it. Perhaps it was for the best. "I'm unsent, Rikku. Dead." 

"Oh." Rikku poked at his chest experimentally. She didn't seem especially surprised. "Does that make a difference?" 

Auron raised his brows so high he could feel the scar pulling at his bad eye. "You knew?" 

Rikku nodded. "Since Guadosalam. I don't know what the Farplane smells like, but I could guess what Seymour meant." 

"And you still..." 

"Yeah." Rikku shrugged. "I mean... I know you're not going to be around forever." The corners of her mouth drooped, but she propped them up. "But no one is, right? We gotta make the best of the time we have." Her chin quivered, and she dropped her head to his shoulder to hide her expression. 

"You know what I really want?" Rikku whispered. "I want to forget being sad. Just for a while. Please... remind me what it's like to feel good." 

The absolute irony of it, Rikku asking that of _him_. 

Auron dissolved into laughter, laughter that grew by turns until it sounded more like pain. By the time he ran out of breath the bridge of his nose was stinging with unshed tears, and Rikku was looking at him very strangely indeed. 

"I've never heard you laugh like that," she said. "I didn't think it was that funny." 

"It wasn't." His high collar was strangling him suddenly, and Auron tore it off with the practiced motion of one hand, throwing it aside. 

Rikku tilted her head, regarding him quietly, and then gave him a faint smile. 

"What?" 

"I know why you wear that collar, now. With that scar and the gray hair and the glasses, your face is all 'I'm tough and mean. Don't mess with me.' But your mouth is all 'I'm a big softie.'" 

Auron couldn't seem to summon the indignation appropriate to that remark. His lips twitched upward. "You've discovered my secret." 

Rikku smiled back, tracing the edge of his mouth with a fingernail. It sent ticklish sensations shivering down his spine. "That's okay," she reassured him. "You've got more." 

He did, indeed. The fingernail left off its maddening explorations to trail up the underside of his jaw, and Auron missed it shamefully. 

"Besides, it doesn't work anyway," Rikku added. "Your eyes are too warm." 

"Eye." The shell of his ear was now being investigated, and he felt it all the way to the soles of his feet. 

Rikku brought her finger back to his chin, and tapped it as if in remonstration. "You have two eyes. One just doesn't work anymore." 

"I stand - sit - corrected." 

Rikku's smile brightened for a second. The fingernail resumed tracing his lips. Auron fought down a shudder, his head going back. When he looked at Rikku she was staring at his mouth with undisguised longing. 

"Auron, can I kiss you now? Because I really, really want to." 

  


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**CENSORED**

  
If you want to read the rest of this chapter, please visit: http://armadillo.yaoiville.org/ 

  


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Part 3 _is_ in the works. It will be posted here on ffn, as I don't foresee a greater than R rating. No smut, sorry! Subsequent chapters are a long way off, and will probably only be available on my website. 

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	3. Chapter 3: Ghostlight

"SS3: Ghost-light" 

Title:"Sanubian Sunshine 3: Ghost-light"   
Author: Fairy Armadillo   
Webpage:   
E-mail: fairyarmadillo [at] aol.com   
Disclaimer: Not mine. Really. Don't hurt me.   
Pairing: Auron/Rikku   
Rating: **R** in general; **PG-13** this part, for nudity.   
**Warnings:** Male/female romance, angst, hurt/comfort, sap, spoilers. 

Summary: Part 3 - in which there is much interior monologue, and Auron asks Rikku to touch his... well, you read it. Set directly after the big romance scene in Macalania. 

Author's Notes: This has gone through about a dozen incarnations. I'm still not happy with it. The characterization is weak, on both sides. I have _tried_ to make it sweet without being sappy. The hints of Auron/Braska from Part 2 make a reappearance. For those who might shy away from this, I have two words: platonic love. 

  


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**Sanubian Sunshine 3: Ghost-light **

Rikku picked her way carefully across the small camp. Even lit by the moon and stars, the Macalania night wasn't so bright that there was no chance of tripping. With wood as hard and sharp as stone, and leaves like blades of glass, stumbling around in the dark wasn't a very smart thing to do. Even the fiends stayed put at night. 

Rikku glanced behind her. Tidus and Yuna sat very close together, talking quietly. Their heads and hands almost touched. If they weren't lovers yet, it wouldn't be long now. A little distance away Wakka sat glumly, Lulu standing at his side. There too Rikku could see a connection, though it was harder to interpret. Wakka seemed to be resting against Lulu's leg, or maybe it was she who leaned on him. 

Rikku sighed to herself. Everyone was pairing up. After the revelations and trials of the last few days, it only made sense for their little band to seek comfort with each other. Besides Kimahri, only Auron still stood alone, his coat black in the blue light. The older guardian stood at the very edge of the clearing, his back turned to them all. He was 'tired', he'd claimed earlier, as he'd sent Tidus after Yuna. But he hadn't stretched out to sleep, or crouched down to rest, as he sometimes did, with his knee folded close to his chest. 

And Rikku could recall the ragged edge to his voice as he'd shouted at the fiend that had once been Seymour Guado. Yuna and the others might have had their faith in Yevon shaken, but today Auron had lost a friend. He didn't seem like a man who had enough of those to take the loss of one lightly. 

She wondered too, about Auron's feelings concerning their changed relationship. They had not had a chance to talk since Yuna's rescue. Auron didn't treat her coldly, but the warmth that she had somehow expected to appear never had. 

"Hi," Rikku whispered as she drew near him, keeping her voice low out of respect for the night's stillness. "I thought you could use some company." Auron's head moved slightly, acknowledging her presence, but he didn't look away from the path to the lake. She stood at Auron's left hand and tried to see what he was staring at. There was nothing there but a few drifting pyreflies. "What are you looking at?" 

A small grunt was Auron's only reply. He stood as still as ever, only the rise and fall of his chest separating him from the inanimate trees nearby. Rikku stood and watched the pyreflies for a while. Pretty little things. Hard to believe that each one was someone's death. One day, they'd all be clouds of pyreflies. And if things didn't go exactly right, that day might be soon. 

Rikku winced mentally. She couldn't stop worrying about Yuna, but if she dwelled on it anymore tonight, she'd go crazy. That was why she was over here -- to provide at least as much distraction for herself as for Auron. 

"So... what do you think of the two lovebirds?" Rikku ventured, jerking her thumb in the direction of Tidus and Yuna. 

Auron cast a glance toward the young couple and looked away. "What they do together is no business of mine." 

"But don't you think it's _romantic_?" Rikku grinned, adding a little sing-song lilt to the last word. 

Auron snorted. "We have little time for romance." 

Rikku frowned. "Is that so?" She looked back at Yuna, then up at Auron. "As long as Yuna continues her pilgrimage, you're happy, right?" Her voice had gone sour. She just couldn't let it go. "Yuna would stop, you know, if you asked her to. She wouldn't have to die." 

Auron shook his head, his expression, what Rikku could see of it, bleak. "Not so long ago, I would have pressured her to continue. But the choice must be exactly that. _Her_ choice. Just as Braska chose." His voice thinned out and he fell silent. 

Rikku had a sudden flash of intuition. "You tried to talk him out of it, didn't you? You wanted him to turn back. But he wouldn't listen." 

"Of course not," Auron said quietly. His chin dipped a fraction farther into his collar. "He knew his duty." 

"Would it have been so bad, really? To want to live? Or to try to find another way?" 

"There was no other way," Auron said sharply. "There _is_ no other way. You, of all people, should know that by now!" 

"But you didn't even try, did you? You and Braska and Sir Jecht, you just went on the way all the Summoners do, and Braska died for it!" 

Auron clenched his fist at his side and said nothing. His shoulders were as taut and hard as iron. 

"I'm sorry," Rikku said after a while. "That wasn't fair. I know you tried. And it must be terrible now, going through it again with his daughter." 

Silence. Not iron now, but stone, crumbling slowly under the weight of time, and despair. 

Sympathy welled up from Rikku's middle, making her chest ache. Sympathy, and if she was honest, maybe a little self-pity. She didn't want to watch her cousin die either. She stepped closer, wanting to give Auron a kiss on the cheek, but she couldn't find any skin she could reach. She settled for touching his hand, tucked against his ribs. The skin that met her fingers felt cold. 

Auron shifted, breaking the awkward connection. "Rikku--" 

"What, it doesn't work both ways? You get to comfort me, but all I can do is stand here?" Rikku put her hands on her hips. "That's not very fair, you know." 

"Life is seldom fair." Auron turned his face away, so that his scarred eye met her squarely: a grim, blind stare. 

"You don't have to do that," Rikku said irritably. "I know what you are. You can't scare me off, or whatever it is you're trying to do." Irritably because Auron _was_ making her shiver a little bit. The skin around the scarred eye was darker, giving it a hollow look, and in the blue Macalania night Auron was pale and colorless, like some kind of undead fiend. 

Instead of flinching away, as she wish to do -- as no doubt Auron wished her to do -- Rikku forced herself to look hard. The scar was deep, a painful gouge slicing through his flesh; it must have been agony when it was fresh. She remembered how he'd appeared in that sphere Tidus had found. Ten years ago Auron had been pretty, almost beautiful, and he'd been painfully earnest. That young fellow was very unlike the hard-bitten, often cynical man she knew today. 

But that young man whom Rikku had never met still lived in the shell of the older one. She'd seen him in the way Auron protected everyone he could -- Yuna, herself, Tidus -- as best he knew how. She'd felt him in the way Auron had touched her, in that cramped passageway on her father's airship. And it showed in other, more subtle ways as well, ones that she couldn't hold up to herself and say, "Here, see? This is why you trust him," but that she knew were real all the same. 

"I care about you, you know," Rikku announced. To prove it, she grabbed two fistfuls of red cloth, and yanked him down to her level. She brushed her lips very lightly over his scarred eye. 

For a long moment Auron stood as if petrified, not even breathing. Then he tore from her grasp and strode away so fast that Rikku stumbled and nearly fell over. "What was _that_ for?" Rikku called indignantly. "Hey!" 

But Auron kept moving, away from her and the camp. Angrily, Rikku dashed after him. He couldn't run away from her now. She found Auron standing at the crossroads and drew up short. Everything about him, from the set of his shoulders to the stance of his feet, shouted 'leave me alone'. His walls were five miles thick, so high and forbidding that Rikku couldn't get within ten feet of him. It felt like a slap in the face. 

Rikku blew out her breath slowly. "You're never going to let anyone close, are you? Not even me." Her voice carried through the absolute quiet, bitter and bleak. Auron made no reaction at all. 

Well, there was her answer. It _didn't_ work both ways. He could give her what she needed, but his heart was too scarred-over to accept anything in return. Realizing that, Rikku grew up a little more, and wished that she hadn't. "Fine," she said at last. "Mope all you like. I'm going for a swim." She walked past Auron, careful not to touch, and followed the trail to the lake. 

Once there, Rikku stood a while, looking out over the spring-fed lake. The pyreflies were thick in the air here. They glittered and swirled like animate stars, their light dancing off the water's surface. The bank was soft fine sand, dimpled from the passage of previous visitors. Tidus and Yuna might have made love here only a couple of hours ago. Rikku's mouth twisted down as she thought of Auron standing on the trail, closed off and alone. 

She pushed him from her mind. He didn't want her. 

She looked at the water again. Tonight was a night for skinny-dipping. Rikku kicked off her shoes and stripped the rest of her clothes, removing everything, every hair-band, every braid and bracelet, until she stood as naked as the day she had been born. 

At her feet, the lake's edge lapped and hunched almost as if in welcome. Rikku stepped forward, and the water closed over her ankles like the touch of a friend. She waded further, until the lake rose to cover her calves, her waist, and then finally her small breasts. 

Rikku began to swim, pulling forward with strong, sure strokes. Her body cut through the water like glass, barely leaving a ripple in the silver surface. The water caressed her with cool fingers, supporting her within its gentle embrace. She dove, and it cradled her in the silent depths. Rikku had always loved the desert for its harsh beauty, but the water was her true home. Here, there was peace. Here was the point of balance for her soul. 

The water soothed her, dissolving the hot, tangled knot of emotion that centered around Auron. The hurt eased, the anger drained from her bones. She'd been silly; Auron had never wanted to get close to her. She'd almost literally thrown herself at him before he'd responded. She wondered briefly if it was death that made him so cold, or if the unsent were simply incapable of feeling. But no, that wasn't true. But how could the loss of anyone, even a dear friend, wound so deeply? 

It didn't matter, really. Rikku still cared. She thought she might be in love; the feeling was so different from anything else she'd ever felt that it was hard to tell. But certainty didn't matter either. It was enough to feel it. She would stay close, and try to be content with that. Someday Auron might reach out to her. Or they'd reach Zanarkand and nothing would matter except that Yuna would face Sin. 

The unease Rikku felt over Yuna's decision to continue the pilgrimage took longer to fade. In a way, she was proud of Yuna's courage and resolve. But she still couldn't stand the thought of her cousin dying. Somehow, some way, they would find a way to defeat Sin without sacrificing Yuna's life. There was so much they didn't know -- what lay ahead in Zanarkand, or exactly why calling the Final Aeon killed the summoner. They didn't even know where Sin came from, or what it really was. Besides big and mean and ugly. And very, very destructive. They would find a way to defeat it, and live through the victory. They had to. 

Finally Rikku let the matter drop. They still had the Calm Lands to cross, and Mt. Gagazet. There was time yet to think, and to learn. 

Mind cleared at last, Rikku floated in serene infinity for as long as her breath would last. Then she kicked upwards and broke the surface, drawing sweet air into her lungs. The sky caught her attention, so beautiful. Rikku floated on her back, looking up at the spill of stars across the vastness. It made her feel very small, and yet strangely comforted. There was one thing that Sin couldn't destroy -- the stars. 

At last, chilled and a little sleepy, Rikku turned and swam for shore. As she approached, she noticed a dark figure standing near the water's edge. At first she feared it might be a fiend, but then she recognized it as human. Auron. 

His belt and collar were gone, and his coat lay open, swaying gently as he breathed. Rikku spotted his things resting next to the meager pile of her clothes. From over the top of his glasses Auron watched her, and there was something in his expression that Rikku did not recognize. In twenty years she might be old enough to know what it was, but right now all she knew was that it drew her forward. 

She swam the last few feet and rose out of the water, determined not to be shy. Auron's eye widened slightly as she stepped forward, and Rikku realized this was the first time he'd ever seen her completely nude. In spite of herself, she shivered. 

Auron grasped the edges of his coat and spread it, silently offering to enclose her in its warmth. Reaching out. 

Rikku crossed the remaining distance in three quick strides, and then she was engulfed in the folds of his coat, Auron's scent and warmth rising up to fill her senses. She slid her arms around him carefully, more than half-expecting to be rejected again. Instead Auron held her close, arms tightening across her shoulders, and his chin resting on the top of her head. Rikku nuzzled his chest a little, feeling comfortably enclosed. "You don't have to push people away all the time, you know." 

"I'm sorry," Auron said, his deep baritone slightly rougher than usual. "It's a habit." 

"But maybe not a good one, huh?" 

"Perhaps not." Auron's hand found her hair, separating the wet strands with his fingers. His breath came a little strangely, almost uneven, catching at the bottom. 

Rikku whispered, "Are you crying?" 

Auron shook his head. "I've forgotten how." 

She petted the strong columns of muscle at his back. "Maybe it would help if you remembered." 

Auron made a small sound of negation. "There aren't enough tears to ease the pain." He held her tighter, whispering into her hair. "You were right, you know. I begged him to turn back. But he refused. I loved him, but he loved the people of Spira more." 

Rikku kept petting him, knowing there were no words to say. 

Auron pulled back after a minute, looking down at her. Some of the strain had eased from his face. He touched her jaw with his fingers, caressing her chin. "You are nothing like him. You question everything. You think about everything." 

Rikku bit her lip, saddened to think she was nothing like the man Auron had once loved. But she forgot in the next second, when Auron caught her chin, his eye blazing with desperate intensity. "You keep thinking, Rikku. Think _hard_." 

"I will," Rikku promised, reaching up to squeeze his hand. "And Tidus will too. We won't let Yunie die." 

Auron relaxed, drawing her close to him once more. "Good." 

They stood together for a long time, clinging to one another in the darkness. Finally Rikku opened her eyes and yawned. It was so peaceful and warm, standing here, that she'd dozed on her feet. Auron stroked her hair again, now dry and trying to tangle. "We should probably get back," he said. 

"Mm, you're probably right," Rikku sighed. Reluctantly, she began to step from the circle of his arms. 

Auron stopped her. "Wait." 

"Hmm?" 

"I want to --" Auron broke off. "Just... stay." He held one hand cupped before his chest. As Rikku watched, solid flesh grew smoky and insubstantial, and a pyrefly came into being. It drifted there above Auron's palm, hovering in lazy arcs within the open cage of his fingers. 

"Oh..." Rikku regarded the ghost-light with wondering eyes. Instead of the more usual blues and greens, this one was red. Not the crimson hue of Auron's coat, or the dark stain of blood, but a rich, vibrant red, like the glow of banked embers, warm and comforting. 

Auron extended his hand, and the pyrefly followed his fingers. "Touch it." 

Tentatively, Rikku put out her fingers, holding them in the glow of the pyrefly's light. "Oh... it's -- it's nice." She didn't quite know how to describe it, even to herself. It was warm, and soft, and a dozen other things, and Rikku knew she wasn't feeling any of it with her fingers. 

Auron gestured, and the pyrefly sailed straight into Rikku's bare chest and melded with her breastbone. Rikku gasped and clutched at the spot. "Oh!" 

Auron ducked his head, watching her closely. "Is it -- all right?" 

"Yes. Oh, yes." Rikku nodded vigorously. She could feel the warmth inside her now, spreading out under her skin, sinking slowly deeper. Auron had -- had given her a piece of _himself_. The realization struck, reverberated, and shook Rikku all the way to her roots. 

After that, there really wasn't any choice except to kiss him. 

  


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END PART 3 

  


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I have ideas for one or two more parts, but don't expect plot or resolution or anything like that. These are just vignettes, not really meant to fit into a whole. If the fancy strikes, there *will* be smut, but only on my website. I do want to write Rikku as a 'sand-blasted grease-monkey', and have her get Auron a bit... messy. Don't expect *anything* soon, since I write at an arthritic snail's pace, and my life has gone from hectic to frankly grim. 

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End file.
